Pet Detective (Halloween 2013)

Well folks, this year has been a bit rough. Some ups (getting a new full-time job) some downs (being broke for the year's first quarter), some ups and downs (getting kicked out by a nagging bitch forcing me to grow cojones and do things my way) but the time where it affected me the most was Halloween.

I couldn't invest a lot in this year's costume, so I had to find a smart, cheap way to make myself a recognizable character that I could have fun with. As the previous "hinting" posts laid out, I decided to go as Jim Carrey's Ace Ventura. The character was something I could do as a kid even with my eyes closed, in terms of quoting him, walking like him and even being out of place in certain public events was right up my alley. So I decided to invest $8 on a pre-owned Hawaiian shirt (or Aloha shirt, as it is supposed to be called), $2.50 on a faux-leather belt (I hate leather belts so I had none that could look the part), dirty black tall boots I already had (I used the same boots for the V for Vendetta and Ghostbusters costumes) and the two most difficult things were the hair and pants.

I looked up and down endlessly for pants that resembled anything close to these:

Chef pants came to mind, but the stripes weren't thick enough and the damn things were $30 or more. Even worse, the ones I found locally were always black and white, not black and red (or burgundy) so that's a double insult. Next, I tried 90's exercise baggy muscle pants, but again the colors were a problem.

While watching the first film carefully, I noticed the only real pair of pants were the ones pictured above, with the exception of the fancy dinner party of course. The rest were pajamas. Fucking pajamas. So I went to Burlington and found X-Large ones at discount, all I had to do was find someone to chop and sew 'em up. Now the hair, I have long straight hair so it's a pain to find costumes that I can work with the hair intact but getting mine to defy gravity like Carrey's was going to be either expensive or shitty-looking. So I went with a wig, which was the most expensive thing throughout the entire ordeal, $25.

The last thing, was the most memorable footprint I left in all places, it was also something new for me. I decided to hand out my Facebook and blog's links in a card in true Ace Ventura fashion. Completely free, except for the color printing. Out of that, came this:

Hawaiian Elvis

If you are wondering which version of Ace Ventura's getups I modeled this one after, here's my main inspiration (yes, I know I should've bought sunflower seeds):


  1. Que bolsa de mierda eres.

    1. Get a real haircut... Y consiguete un trabajo verdadero. PENDEJO

    2. Will do that right away, Mr. I-Must-Remain-Anonymous-Because-of-Fear-of-Retalliation-Over-the-Internet-is-a-Real-Issue-for-Me, sir.

      By the way nice of you to see you come back to check on my blog every so often and taking some of your time to lend real life advice. Very thoughtful of you. I see someone getting a Nobel Peace Prize!

  2. Claro si tu llamas a eso trabajo. Jajajajaja!!! Y escribes como si tuvieras idea de quien soy, pero eso es muy bueno para mi asi nunca te enteraras quien te va a romper la cara cuando salgas de tu mierda de "trabajo" o cuando llegues a tu nido de ratas o mejor en la calle todos somos iguales... So' I'm just waiting Mr. Power Ranger

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  4. Ves que cada una de las cosas que te han pasado es por que yo tuve algo que ver. Una lastima que no te funcionara lo de tu "suicidio"para la proxima no intentes llamar la atencion y solo ten los cojones de hacerlo. Que patetico, pero claro muy digno de que se puede esperar de alguien que no es nadie. Lo proximo te prometo que te va a gustar y a ver a quien vas a maldecir.

  5. Estas muerto watch your back.

  6. Damn chica superalo! Te ves tan inmadura con ese hate largo. A un ex se le cambia y ya, estancarse en el hate es lo mas infantil que puede hacer alguien. Si tienes tu pareja y jutas ser feliz, dedicate a el y dale importancia a tu nueva pareja, es lo menos que puedes hacer.

  7. "The love I have for my pet is unlike anything I've ever experienced. They truly are my best friend." What Is Simparica Trio