The Beauty of the 90's

This week to I went to a pizzeria and saw this Tekken 3 arcade machine. It was in perfect working condition, no buttons or joysticks stuck, the speakers didn't sound like hairy asses getting raped by tin foil. It was ironic, the fact I played up til Round 5 with three quarters made me even desire it more whilst going back home and having it in front of me just didn't feel quite as exhilarating. And it wasn't for the fact that I was playing in public, truth be told, the machine looks like the occasional child walks by past it, preferring their mobile games. It doesn't reek of abandonment but it certainly ain't a hit with the ladies, or the nerds.

I think the claw machine next to it gets more hits (both literally and figuratively)  than the poor Tekken 3 cabinet. Not only is Tekken about kicking ass, so it should attract more attention than trying to impale a teddy bear with the weakest metal grapple in existence, in comparison it's 75% cheaper than Mr. I-Can't-Grab-Shit!

Twenty-five fucking cents.

But what really got me thinking "What the f---" was the famous "Winners Don't Do Drugs" message with the FBI logo and William S. Sessions' name. These guys could barely tell the difference between Pong and Contra, what the hell were they doing inside my quarter-munchers? This is a time where media and our parents are bitching about video games, such as Mortal Kombat and arcade shooters that had plastic guns.

But then, something happened, as much as we love to hate on the FBI, maybe they were on to something here, a quick search regarding the FBI and video games will show you:
  • In the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) report on school violence, Lessons Learned: An FBI Perspective School Violence Seminar, they include a school shooter profile listing thirty factors that may be indicators of potentially devastating violent acts, but the FBI excluded playing video games from that list. (Source)
  • "The state has not produced substantial evidence that … violent video games cause psychological or neurological harm to minors."(Source)

Video games have nothing to do with violence. The FBI is endorsing us. Which is why seeing this logo made me just want to prove everyone wrong so I took home my pizza and punched it. Twice.


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