A Rich Cunt's Beverage

When I go out to drink it's because one or more of the following:

  • I wanna relieve some stress (be it sad, angry, worried)
  • I wanna be as idiotic (I cross-reference that with 'funny') as possible
  • I want to get plastered because I miss feeling like an aborted bag of vomit

I don't, however, like mixed drinks that much. Acapulcos, Martinis, Daiquiris, Long Islands... they're waste of time. You don't get served enough alcohol to make you wind down, the taste is like expensive juice, and the prices are downright absurd. I've heard of people practically pay $50 for three of these "soft" drinks. If the point is showing off, by all means, do so, but don't tell me you have a good time paying for liquids with pretty colors . So people obviously like these, and I don't mind them once in a while, not everyone has to drink horse piss nor straight hard liquor.

Then I see this abomination:

You are practically paying $18,000 for a diamond with drool. This is not saying a lot, we don't require a genius to see how ridiculous it is, but if we are to look at rich people and their extravagant crap, like $20 toilet paper or a chair worth $27.8 million, we can pass this off as normal.

And yet, I can't really hate rich people. Their existence is there to make the rest of the world look either miserable or incredibly smart by comparison.