My CrEw Is FuLl O' sHiT (And so are you)

I’m tired of you dickheads that belong to “crews”. The concept is as sad, if not sadder, than the one of being in a real life gang. First of all, let us review the definition of the word "Crew". Merriam-Webster tells us:
  1. archaic: a band or force of armed men
  2. a: a group of people associated together in a common activity or by common traits or interests b: gang
  3. a company of people working on one job or under one foreman or operating a machine

So we can scratch the first definition out, because most of these intrepid, insipid, arrogant assholes that take pictures of themselves in the bathroom with the cameras facing the FUCKING MIRROR (what's wrong with you retards?) and change their MySpace nicknames on a daily basis with [Da LaMe AsSeS cReW] or something of similar aspect, are everything BUT armed men. Or just armed. Or men, for that matter.

Number two could be closer to the truth, because these "crews" are most likely driven by one simple goal. What might that goal be? The search for attention and/or acceptance, of course!

And as everyone knows, attention-whoring is something as common as a pedophile on MySpace. However, crews seldom meet the requirements to fulfill their goal. Pedophiles can find with great ease moronic underaged users that try to pass as knowledgeable just because they have a two-digit age number. Crews, on the other hand, are not capable of doing anything that stands out. So the extra excess baggage beside your nickname will go ignored.

The third one could also be somehow related to the actual practice of putting yourself in this shameful obsession of being affiliated with fellow MySpace users in real life at all costs. Everyone’s working hard to make their crew stand out, their uniqueness is shared by each of the crew's members, thus debating the concept of uniqueness itself, since it stops being unique the minute they find out there’s a common factor for them to join with AND the fact there’s at least 10,000 groups that share their same traits.
Even more idiotic than belonging in a crew, would be the names given to said crews.

tHe BURROS kr∑w! !☮
Drinking Crew!!!1
[FaShIoN GuRlZ]

So keep in mind that even if this crew of yours stands out, and it has over 100 of your white friends with Ecko t-shirts and caps inappropriately placed on their skinny heads, even if you take 30 pictures per day like the MySpace whores, even if you put xXx or 666 on each end of your name, even if you still think that using ShIfTiNg ChArAcTeRs is somehow cool...

Just remember that you’re not.

Oh, and neither am I. But unlike you, I’m not trying to be.