Apr 26, 2012

Baby Boomers


I got a great kick out of this one over @ Slashdot

Stop Feeling Sorry For Them - They're Selfish (Score:-1)
by
Anonymous Coward
on Wednesday April 25, @06:42PM (#39801153)

The USA without the Baby Boomers would be like a dog without bricks tied to its head.

When the last Baby Boomer croaks the USA will enter into a new era of prosperity.

They're so goddamned self-centered they routinely drive 10-20 below the speed limit, hold up everyone trying to get to work partly to pay for their precious Social Security, and can't understand why that's a problem. And being frivolous and self-important, they're too "good" to pull over and let the long line of cars stuck behind them to pass even though those people are getting to work, have a clock to beat, and the old fart doesn't.

If you work a service job because in this economy you are thankful to have any regular work at all, you know that to the Baby Boomers, every service person is their own personal butler. You'll have noticed that when they ask you where something is, they are usually standing in front of it. They certainly can read because they can absolutely read your nametag, even though it's a much smaller font than the big sign for the item they wanted to find. Being self-centered it would not occur to them to make even a token effort to look around (i.e. swivel their neck about 15 degrees, such horrible effort I know) before requesting that you drop everything you are doing and assist them. You know, like any decent person who doesn't think they're better than you would do.

They don't talk to you, they talk *at* you. I've had them whistle at me like I am a dog and note I have never seen anyone other than a Baby Boomer who was so eager to be degrading like this. They will try to monopolize service personel and try to talk for 20 minutes to complete strangers about their grandkids, not because they think you care or are involved in any way, but because they love to abuse a captive audience that fears for their job too much to tell them to fuck off. They will do that instead of wondering if there might be good reasons why their kids and grandkids don't visit them, because that line of inquiry might lead to admitting fault, and they're too much better than you to do that. They love to complain about everything even when they know the employee they complain to has no control over high-level company decisions like which products are offered for sale.

With few exceptions they've regressed and have become little more than overgrown two-year-olds. They are bankrupting the country. They vote in huge blocs for all the wrong people, greatly contributing to the political mess we have today. They run homeowner's associations so they can take neighbors to court over such important matters as the color of paint. They are one of the biggest reasons why marijuana remains illegal and otherwise love to use law like a cudgel to beat you over the head with their own brand of morality, that you follow or be punished. They tend to be real big law-and-order types even in situations where there can be no victim because it is all consenting adults.

When the last Baby Boomer dies I intend to throw a huge block party. The theme will be IT'S FINALLY OVER! Get over your idealized image of sweet old inoffensive Grandma because they hide behind that to manipulate your emotions so you feel afraid to admit how pathetic and selfish they are. That same "sweet" old Grandma will turn into MegaBitch the instant you cannot do exactly what she demands. Dunno about you people but I don't believe in false images.

The above applies to all but a few of them. A few of them actually have character traits like patience and wisdom and intellectual independence to show for the great deal of time they have lived on this planet. Those are precious and I treat them with great respect and do whatever I can for them. The other 95% just plain suck and are a total drain on society, both financially and at the interpersonal level.

The USA without the Baby Boomers is like a dog without a stack of bricks tied to its head.

Apr 22, 2012

Classic Video Games Artwork


Any video game nerd will tell you of atrocities in the 1980's, #1 being E.T. for the Atari and almost destroying video games in general, and not too far down the list is the artwork that some games had the misfortune to be associated with.

Now, these aren't times of dazzling graphics, so they had to make ends meet and capture the audience by making the artwork extra realistic. But the artwork for the SEGA Master System games had amazing disparities when comparing it to  the Japanese artwork.


The Japanese box art and the box art used for releases elsewhere, respectively.

These aren't one-shots, these were the norm. Someone in SEGA's marketing team was PROUD of this decision!

Apr 20, 2012

Freckled people aren't natural


I just finished this one. When I used to lurk MyConfinedSpace.com a lot, I noticed a lot of people actually LIKED girls with freckles, the reason behind this escapes me.

They just seem disgusting to me, and I genuinely believe they come from some sort of fucked up hybrid with either giraffes or cheetahs.

Yes, a giraffe's dick looks like that. YouTube taught me this.

Hardcore Megadeth fans



These people are everywhere, try it with Draft Punk, Deadmaus and I'm guessing 5 out of 10 artists out there have at least 5 different fan pages just because fans themselves can't bother to learn the names of their favorite artists.

Apr 18, 2012

I ain't no Holo-Pac Gurrrl


So everyone by now knows of Tupac's holographic appearence so I'm not even gonna bother. But a good cyber-dick Internet pal of mine began rolling the ball with this.



It's been a while since I've scored a "win" by anyone so I just had to share it.



Apr 16, 2012

Politicos Inamibles: Jorge Santini


This is the current Mayor of Puerto Rico's capital city, San Juan. He used to be two chins shorter when he entered the public eye via politics. This is one of the first photshops I made when I started this thing, his reputation as a coke-head is so commonplace within the general census that it was a no-brainer.



He likes to be in the limelight, and the way he pulls it off is dazzling to say the least. On Christmas of 2011 he made a Christmas Card featuring his family, good wishes and a recreation of a leopard gnawing on an antelope's neck.

Apr 10, 2012

Politicos Inamibles: Narden Jaime


This was the second politician I chose (after Rey Vergas) whose image would be satirized to loosely reflect some ineptitude of one or more politicians today. Well, I had to re-do it because it felt rushed and it had no comical value (or mockery for that matter).

But what caught my eye the second time around was that he had two totally different promotional faces. Not talking about angles or facial expressions, but the faces themselves were quite different, and he looked down to Earth in one and in the other one like a motionless doll with perfect teeth and ungodly eyes that were like two photoshop'd nebulae inside crystal balls.

Why bother uploading the second picture if people won't even recognize you out in the street?

Apr 1, 2012

Google Maps goes 8-bit!


Google always changes some policy or violates some privacy agreement and causes a shitstorm, they then create something so cute and/or cool and almost everyone forgets and forgives. Or just forgets. Now Google Maps has added a new option called "Quest" and it turns your typical maps into 8-bit goodness, reminiscent to some NES games such as Zelda or Dragon Warrior. It might be an April Fool's only kinda thing or it may stick, either way it's pretty... um... blocky.

The option is right beside the other "view styles".

Proof that if Puerto Rico were a video game, it'd suck balls.


Perhaps the coolest tidbit is the "Street View" icon being replaced by what would pass off as a Dragon Warrior or Final Fantasy character.
Street View always has a distorted view but it resembles more a broken monitor/screen than 8-bit. There are many funny and curious Easter Eggs scattered across the globe. Visit Reddit to view the full list so far.

Politicos Inamibles: Noe Marcano


This guy I instantly knew I wanted to do something with his face. His smirk is borderline mischievous, I first thought of Lex Luthor but I would've had to Photoshop Superman and a suit in there for it to be obvious.

The cultural reference list for bald people was quite extensive the more I thought about it.

All nice options but difficult to pull off in just one picture that still somehow resembled the original politician and that was more "globally" recognizable. My girlfriend came up with the idea of the Conehead and it was an instant "OHMYGODFUCKYES".