Mar 23, 2012

AOL Search Queries


The only problem I have with searching is that whenever I have a problem or curiosity, I can't seem to find a response. Either because I'm not using the right terms, not patient enough or the info just isn't out there. Like let's say a specific song I only can make out some of the lyrics to, I downloaded it over KaZaA or Ares or some asswad file-sharing peer-to-peer program plagued with erroneously-titled music files, and I look it up. Nothing.

I go back a week later, look it up. Nothing.
A year later, I look it up. Nothing.
5 years later (I'm not kidding), I look it up, and still nothing.

Whenever I ask someone else to get involved in the search, I look it up again and boom, there it is! The moment in which I give up searching on my own, proceed to ask someone, anyone, about said inquiry, my luck changes. I tried this on command but it didn't work, apparently it's a meticulous process of "Forget about everyone until the very last moment". It's almost poetic.

But these people... the people that searched for these things on AOL Search, I hope they never have to rely on someone else to help them.



I always knew voyeur animal sex was related to x-ray vision.
I've tried to catch 'em but they notice and wander off. Selfish fucks.



Four fingers are equivalent to a 12-inch dick. Check.
Humiliation because you just because you. Check.



So apparently a vagina is not pretty enough to be food for a king. Or maybe the AOL Search algorithm is so fucked up that "foods fit a king" actually gives you vagina pictures.


The last few lines explicitly show that you can't clear all past AOL searches, it's better to keep searching on how to cancel your searches. 
That's like driving around the city to look for hookers you don't want to be with.


That one was mine. Except I don't have a mom. Or a husband. Or a cock.

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