Sep 11, 2012

Never Forget [to make fun of it] 2012 Edition

I know, I know. I haven't updated. But at least I'm one to keep at least ONE tradition, and that is to make humorous attempts to explain what really happened to the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center on that fateful 11th of September, 2001.

It's been more than a decade now since it happened and apart from the disparities in the official reports and the poor attempts to justify their incessant self-contradiction and flat-out fairy tales, we know have one invisible dead body. The same invisible body that was supposedly once (invisibly) alive in the caves of Afghanistan.

Well, this year's explanation has a lot to do with 90's, as opposed to the previous "Strict-80's" streak.

Not even a non-smoking Jeff Goldblum can hack into the crapload of American paranoia of today and make it go away with a laughing skull.

On a sidenote, since years 2007 and 2008 are vacant, I'm trying to make other entries, at least one. I'll update a bit  later on today.




2008 (No Entry)




Aug 21, 2012

Super Golden Friends

I'm only 25 years old, I don't know of many people my age that watched (and liked) The Golden Girls. I just hope that the ones that did watch it get to see this gem.

Jul 20, 2012

The Shot Knight ain't rising

So this morning I started seeing a flood of a news report, apparently someone had opened fire on dozens of innocent people at a Batman: The Dark Knight Rises premiere. The primary suspect is James Holmes, who seems to fit in a typical Gotham super-villain gallery when it comes to mug shots.

Not only that, allegedly he posted a warning on 9GAG (the site of all things lame on the Internet), it is nowhere to be found, because 9GAG protect their own sick ass-rammed users. Here is the screenshot in question:

Obviously legit.

But what baffles me is... I'm still surprised the Christopher Nolan faggot fans of his Batman movies haven't caught up with the real purpose of this situation.

Jul 10, 2012

To judge or not to judge? That is a stupid dilemma.

Judging seems to be the next taboo to take over now that gay marriage is sooo last decade. What happens to most taboos is that at first it is shocking, appalling even, later on it becomes somewhat unacceptable to "as long they don't touch me" until it converts into "to each their own" or "that's a common thing now!".

Judging, by comparison, should have followed suit and become acceptable, even more so when it has, is, and will always be a common thing. And after that. And then some more! It will always be a common thing.

Now. normally when taboos are battled in the Arenas of Moralism, it's mostly backed by anyone with a brain and shunned by Bible-thumbers or conservative folk that do next to nothing than opposing anything new or radically harmless. Yet judging defies this "rule", AGAIN! (we've got one hell of a rebellious taboo on our hands) Case in point, take this picture I found on Facebook.

Jun 28, 2012









Jun 13, 2012

SGX Coactive - Let's make some music

Interesting small (less than 1MB) flash tool for creating catchy, albeit somewhat limited, beats and loops.

Visit the official site here and click on "I am so totally confused" for a full set of instructions on how to get your groove on.

Jun 5, 2012

Final Politico Inamible: Jenniffer Gonzalez

You know that stereotypical fat blob that's a mayor, stinkin' wealthy, reeks of limburger, expands each time you see him and when you DO see him he is never standing up?

Well that's how I feel about this useless six-titted cockhead. It didn't take me as long as I imagined to fit her head with Ja-- actually, it felt like I tried to fix Jabba The Hutt's body with her gross head.

Well, this is the end of my stint as a political advisor. I think I did pretty good, granted I didn't give any advice at all.

If you want something taken down, set it free

This is not really related to anything at all, nor am I making a call to arms in order to exploit this (because it IS exploitable). Tonight, I was fapping, and I open up a bunch of tabs and go about looking for different things on each until I find one that "clicks" in. (I was gonna say "dicks in" but not only is it a bad joke, it's a bad GAY joke)

Anyway, I almost always tend to look at the videos' comments because sometimes it takes a while to find something fap-worthy.

So I read this comment on xhamster's "Emo girl cubs on cam" (no, it's not MY typo) and it's about some self-shot fat emo masturbating):


you fucking asshole, you better remove this because it was uploaded illegally and without consent! I will press charges on you and I will win if you do not remove this video at once!

 comments: 0 June 5, 2012, 6:36 am

Jun 3, 2012

Among The Sleep

I'm not a fan of horror games. In fact part because they're almost always survival games and the biggest reason may be the very thing they're meant to do. Scare the crap out of you. But I don't mind being scared if I can let loose and kill everything in sight a lá Rambo. But in games like Silent Hill or Resident Evil 2 what pisses me off is the limited ammo, you have to ration every single thing from medicine to bullets to matches.

Anyway, Among The Sleep is a game still in development and it brings forth an interesting take on the horror genre. You play as a 2-year old and by the looks of it, the game has no HUD (HeadsUpDisplay) or any of that fancy riffraff. Its simplicity is shilling.

May 31, 2012

Politicos Inamibles: Rafy Surillo

Like Mariíta, Rafy Surillo is also from Yabucoa and is running for town mayor for the PPD (the red guys).  I've no idea if he is good or not, if I'm going to vote, I'll mostly likely write down my own name. The thing here is with his last name, Surillo. Now, there are two words used in Puerto Rico that look/sound close to Surillo, one is sorullo (corn fritter) and cerilla (earwax).

It's not a big debate over which one would be more interesting to implement on this guy's promo pictures. Plus, his entire big eyebrow/moustache/nose complexion (which were modified a teensy-weensy bit) reminds me for some reason of Street Fighter's Blanka and a garden gnome's love-child.

May 25, 2012

Politicos Inamibles: Mariita Santiago

You definitely had to be living in Puerto Rico during the 80's and early 90's to get this one. It parodies Mirta de Perales, an old hag that would advertise some sort of magical shampoo that somehow gave you instant beautiful hair as long you washed your scalp like she did in the commercials.

She basically buried her fingers and moved the scalp back and forth (not actually through the hair). It made perfect sense! Of course they would use a very, very old commercial of hers, since she was so damn old and nasty looking by the time I saw them on-air. She died recently, to my surprise, the old hag probably drank her awful shampoo to make it all the more poetic.

Mariita herself is a Senator from my hometown of Yabucoa, to the best of my knowledge she doesn't have any outstanding degrees that would make her ideal for her position (but it doesn't matter because you land those by kissing ass). But, like all the rest of the politicians, I don't follow their agendas so I don't know if they're as inept as they seem at first glance.

May 19, 2012


This is a 1989 "BluePrinter Batmobile Cocoon Armored Shield", it's a model kit, which means you have to assemble and paint it. Got it off eBay a few months ago as my own birthday present since the original Batmobile of the same year for the action figures weren't as cheap as I thought they'd be (it was Christmas season after all).

Looking at the uploaded versions of Blogger, the upload process somehow, apparently, compressed and fucked the blacks on the photos, so I've replaced them with Flickr's version.

May 14, 2012

Photography Picdump

It has been almost a year since I moved out of my house, this implied using the laptop a lot more than my desktop PC at first, but with the advent of a fried motherboard (two, actually) I relied solely on the laptop. I have almost the same stuff on both computers, but my desktop had more recent photos of my Canon Rebel XTi, so I always felt it inadequate to update my Canon Rebel XTi folder on the laptop, since there would always be some photos missing.

The last couple of days I've installed Lightroom and imported the photos and catalog from my desktop's hard drive to my laptop's, have been retouching some old pictures that were on hold as well as transferring all the new pictures that had been accumulating in the camera's memory for almost a year (as mentioned previously). So this small batch is of those new pictures that had been gathering digital dust up until now. Enjoy.

Zully & Claudia

Leatherface figurine against candle and LED flashlight.

 Les Paul
Gibson Les Paul Guitar.

Banana Tree
The innards of a banana tree.

May 12, 2012

Everyone's a Photographer / Philosopher / Bullshitter aka Hipster

I think I cracked the code and did the equivalent of one year's worth of art of an iMac/iPad/iPhone user.

Mind you I did NOT do this on an Apple product, nor with Instagram. It takes a lot of hard work to find out how to make your photos look like everyone else's. Shame there's no real tag for sarcasm available in coding languages.

May 5, 2012

Meme: Boricua Patriotico (Patriotic Boricua)

I'm not saying this has the potential to be a popular meme, but it's certainly exploitable. I came up with this after hearing one too many things from purists that regardless of how bad odds looked for a local athlete, they still cheer him on. I call that blind fanaticism, but that's just me. Here are the first four I created and their English translations below.

"We have to support our stuff"
Go buy clothing at Pac-Sun and Hot Topic

"My island is the best, long live Puerto Rico"
Moves to New York
"I'm Boricua so you better recognize"
Born, raised and residing in U.S.
"Support our musicians"
It's cheaper to only see them at patronage festivals

May 4, 2012

Politicos Inamibles: Norberto Andujar

I know nothing of this guy, besides that he's one of the red guys (in Puerto Rico each political party has a designated color, they had to narrow it down to colors to appeal to their respective stupid fans, the PPD is red, the PIP is green and the PNP is blue). That and that he's obviously trying to achieve his dream as a SEARS catalogue model. Seriously, look at him.

I'd vote the fuck out of that ladder. It looks so committed.

That and that gleaming fake smile called out to me. So I nicknamed him with Norberto "Estoy Tan Fuckin' Feliz" which means "I'm So Fuckin' Happy".

May 1, 2012

Dreth's eBay Feedback

I know a while ago I posted somewhere on the Internet some of my previous feedback left for eBay sellers.

Here it is in case you did not see it the first time around.

(Click on the images to enlarge 'em)

Well that was almost a year ago. Here's some more recent feedback.

Apr 26, 2012

Baby Boomers

I got a great kick out of this one over @ Slashdot

Stop Feeling Sorry For Them - They're Selfish (Score:-1)
Anonymous Coward
on Wednesday April 25, @06:42PM (#39801153)

The USA without the Baby Boomers would be like a dog without bricks tied to its head.

When the last Baby Boomer croaks the USA will enter into a new era of prosperity.

They're so goddamned self-centered they routinely drive 10-20 below the speed limit, hold up everyone trying to get to work partly to pay for their precious Social Security, and can't understand why that's a problem. And being frivolous and self-important, they're too "good" to pull over and let the long line of cars stuck behind them to pass even though those people are getting to work, have a clock to beat, and the old fart doesn't.

If you work a service job because in this economy you are thankful to have any regular work at all, you know that to the Baby Boomers, every service person is their own personal butler. You'll have noticed that when they ask you where something is, they are usually standing in front of it. They certainly can read because they can absolutely read your nametag, even though it's a much smaller font than the big sign for the item they wanted to find. Being self-centered it would not occur to them to make even a token effort to look around (i.e. swivel their neck about 15 degrees, such horrible effort I know) before requesting that you drop everything you are doing and assist them. You know, like any decent person who doesn't think they're better than you would do.

They don't talk to you, they talk *at* you. I've had them whistle at me like I am a dog and note I have never seen anyone other than a Baby Boomer who was so eager to be degrading like this. They will try to monopolize service personel and try to talk for 20 minutes to complete strangers about their grandkids, not because they think you care or are involved in any way, but because they love to abuse a captive audience that fears for their job too much to tell them to fuck off. They will do that instead of wondering if there might be good reasons why their kids and grandkids don't visit them, because that line of inquiry might lead to admitting fault, and they're too much better than you to do that. They love to complain about everything even when they know the employee they complain to has no control over high-level company decisions like which products are offered for sale.

With few exceptions they've regressed and have become little more than overgrown two-year-olds. They are bankrupting the country. They vote in huge blocs for all the wrong people, greatly contributing to the political mess we have today. They run homeowner's associations so they can take neighbors to court over such important matters as the color of paint. They are one of the biggest reasons why marijuana remains illegal and otherwise love to use law like a cudgel to beat you over the head with their own brand of morality, that you follow or be punished. They tend to be real big law-and-order types even in situations where there can be no victim because it is all consenting adults.

When the last Baby Boomer dies I intend to throw a huge block party. The theme will be IT'S FINALLY OVER! Get over your idealized image of sweet old inoffensive Grandma because they hide behind that to manipulate your emotions so you feel afraid to admit how pathetic and selfish they are. That same "sweet" old Grandma will turn into MegaBitch the instant you cannot do exactly what she demands. Dunno about you people but I don't believe in false images.

The above applies to all but a few of them. A few of them actually have character traits like patience and wisdom and intellectual independence to show for the great deal of time they have lived on this planet. Those are precious and I treat them with great respect and do whatever I can for them. The other 95% just plain suck and are a total drain on society, both financially and at the interpersonal level.

The USA without the Baby Boomers is like a dog without a stack of bricks tied to its head.

Apr 22, 2012

Classic Video Games Artwork

Any video game nerd will tell you of atrocities in the 1980's, #1 being E.T. for the Atari and almost destroying video games in general, and not too far down the list is the artwork that some games had the misfortune to be associated with.

Now, these aren't times of dazzling graphics, so they had to make ends meet and capture the audience by making the artwork extra realistic. But the artwork for the SEGA Master System games had amazing disparities when comparing it to  the Japanese artwork.

The Japanese box art and the box art used for releases elsewhere, respectively.

These aren't one-shots, these were the norm. Someone in SEGA's marketing team was PROUD of this decision!

Apr 20, 2012

Freckled people aren't natural

I just finished this one. When I used to lurk a lot, I noticed a lot of people actually LIKED girls with freckles, the reason behind this escapes me.

They just seem disgusting to me, and I genuinely believe they come from some sort of fucked up hybrid with either giraffes or cheetahs.

Yes, a giraffe's dick looks like that. YouTube taught me this.

Hardcore Megadeth fans

These people are everywhere, try it with Draft Punk, Deadmaus and I'm guessing 5 out of 10 artists out there have at least 5 different fan pages just because fans themselves can't bother to learn the names of their favorite artists.

Apr 18, 2012

I ain't no Holo-Pac Gurrrl

So everyone by now knows of Tupac's holographic appearence so I'm not even gonna bother. But a good cyber-dick Internet pal of mine began rolling the ball with this.

It's been a while since I've scored a "win" by anyone so I just had to share it.

Apr 16, 2012

Politicos Inamibles: Jorge Santini

This is the current Mayor of Puerto Rico's capital city, San Juan. He used to be two chins shorter when he entered the public eye via politics. This is one of the first photshops I made when I started this thing, his reputation as a coke-head is so commonplace within the general census that it was a no-brainer.

He likes to be in the limelight, and the way he pulls it off is dazzling to say the least. On Christmas of 2011 he made a Christmas Card featuring his family, good wishes and a recreation of a leopard gnawing on an antelope's neck.

Apr 10, 2012

Politicos Inamibles: Narden Jaime

This was the second politician I chose (after Rey Vergas) whose image would be satirized to loosely reflect some ineptitude of one or more politicians today. Well, I had to re-do it because it felt rushed and it had no comical value (or mockery for that matter).

But what caught my eye the second time around was that he had two totally different promotional faces. Not talking about angles or facial expressions, but the faces themselves were quite different, and he looked down to Earth in one and in the other one like a motionless doll with perfect teeth and ungodly eyes that were like two photoshop'd nebulae inside crystal balls.

Why bother uploading the second picture if people won't even recognize you out in the street?

Apr 1, 2012

Google Maps goes 8-bit!

Google always changes some policy or violates some privacy agreement and causes a shitstorm, they then create something so cute and/or cool and almost everyone forgets and forgives. Or just forgets. Now Google Maps has added a new option called "Quest" and it turns your typical maps into 8-bit goodness, reminiscent to some NES games such as Zelda or Dragon Warrior. It might be an April Fool's only kinda thing or it may stick, either way it's pretty... um... blocky.

The option is right beside the other "view styles".

Proof that if Puerto Rico were a video game, it'd suck balls.

Perhaps the coolest tidbit is the "Street View" icon being replaced by what would pass off as a Dragon Warrior or Final Fantasy character.
Street View always has a distorted view but it resembles more a broken monitor/screen than 8-bit. There are many funny and curious Easter Eggs scattered across the globe. Visit Reddit to view the full list so far.

Politicos Inamibles: Noe Marcano

This guy I instantly knew I wanted to do something with his face. His smirk is borderline mischievous, I first thought of Lex Luthor but I would've had to Photoshop Superman and a suit in there for it to be obvious.

The cultural reference list for bald people was quite extensive the more I thought about it.

All nice options but difficult to pull off in just one picture that still somehow resembled the original politician and that was more "globally" recognizable. My girlfriend came up with the idea of the Conehead and it was an instant "OHMYGODFUCKYES".

Mar 31, 2012

Gaming: The Online Nightmare

I love video games. I'm not the oldest or most retro of gamers, I'm not even remotely "hardcore". But I grew up with them, and despite the fact neither my parents weren't rich, I had a nice collection and managed to have at least one console for each generation ever since my gaming debut on the Nintendo Entertainment System.

Forward two decades later and I find it more and more difficult to enjoy gaming as a "full-time hobby", two jobs, a wife (by society's definition even though I hate the term) and, well, other hobbies such as drinking and driving (since I'm short on time I do them at the same time). Whenever I do find the time to play, it becomes a little more difficult to enjoy modernized gaming.

My rant has a little something to do with the constant "cloud" and online interaction to do ANYTHING. Maybe I'm all "IHATEALLNEWTHINGS", but ever since online gaming popped its head in consoles and DRM became more and more anal, I feel many things are becoming too controlled, too "we have to know what you are doing, when you are doing it and when you plan to do it again". My most recent example has to do with Assassin's Creed: Revelations and its constant nagging of going online and checking for updates each time I want to play it. It's not even the auto-update-notification that irks but the fact they require you to register and log in each time you want to play the game.

Then it constantly reminds me as I'm about to journey into the game that I am not connected, I won't be able to play multiplayer or download extra content. Look, I KNOW I'm offline, I KNOW I don't want to be running around with other Altairs or Desmonds or whatever, I KNOW the game itself is fine as it is and extra content won't get me extra hours of gameplay so I don't care if I have it or not. I just want to PLAY THE DAMN THING.

Whatever happened to double-clicking and just playing?

Mar 30, 2012

If Portal 2 was released in the 90's

I don't know about you but I think this would've been one of the most interesting Tiger Electronics gaming whatchamacallits.

Worried about Blogger's new dashboard

I've been on and off making websites and/or layouts ever since I first wandered into Yahoo! Geocities, so coding (or rather editing code) is not exactly the easiest of tasks for me but I always manage to work something out. Well, I've liked all my layouts, I've used them all, eventually I ditch them all but with each new layout, the trend is they become easier on the eyes.

Now I'm proud of this one because it's just an image and some columns and it gets the point across, no problem with that. However, I rely heavily on editing existent HTML and/or CSS, something Blogger lets you mess with freely, or rather, they used to let you mess with it.

With "dynamic templates", things get simplified but other things get locked down. You can still edit some aspects but apparently venturing inside the code and manipulating it to your will may no longer be an option. The old Blogger layout would let you edit the HTML directly, this new layout when I browsed it, the only thing I cared for was that one button. I never found it, some sites claim to have found it but the truth is that it's most likely to be true implementation of "Edit HTML" in the interface is bound to go like this:

  • Download your template
  • Open it in an editor
  • Edit it
  • Upload it
  • Test it
While before it used to be like this:

  • Edit it in blogger's own window
  • Click "Preview
  • If satisfied, click "Save Template"

It's not such a big deal, until you're just changing a single number or hyphen, there's no way to test it quickly... Anyway, Blogger is making these changes mandatory in April so I will either leave my theme as it is, until I grow tired of it, or get used to a long and boring process of download/upload.


Yeah the new interface has "Edit HTML".

Mar 26, 2012

Politicos Inamibles: Jose Luis Dalmau

My oh my, my second entry into this little section and I'm already a day behind. Anyhow, this guy is from the PPD (loosely translated to Popular Democratic Party), as opposed to Rey Vargas Vergas (who belongs to the PNP), the gag is obviously based on Angry Birds and the green pigs.

"Roba Huevos" means "Egg Stealer", the reference obviously towards the green pigs' favorite activity. Besides standing around waiting to be murdered. Not that I'm implying that this specific politician steals, because I don't know him or his past deeds or future plans. I'm actually implying that all politicians at some point steal, and quite frankly that's the main feedback we've gotten from our gay little imitation of a White House for a loooong time now.

Hell is a Conspiracy Theory - Proved false from The Bible

This was originally posted by the user "Blue_Jay33" on back in 2009. I've kept it bookmarked and read it time and time again and looked up the reference bits on Bibles online. It is rather fascinating, even if you don't believe in anything like me, you can overlook what the book is talking about and focus on how bigoted the Church is regarding pushing fear at all costs just to get people to join their cause.


Mar 24, 2012

The Beauty of the 90's

This week to I went to a pizzeria and saw this Tekken 3 arcade machine. It was in perfect working condition, no buttons or joysticks stuck, the speakers didn't sound like hairy asses getting raped by tin foil. It was ironic, the fact I played up til Round 5 with three quarters made me even desire it more whilst going back home and having it in front of me just didn't feel quite as exhilarating. And it wasn't for the fact that I was playing in public, truth be told, the machine looks like the occasional child walks by past it, preferring their mobile games. It doesn't reek of abandonment but it certainly ain't a hit with the ladies, or the nerds.

I think the claw machine next to it gets more hits (both literally and figuratively)  than the poor Tekken 3 cabinet. Not only is Tekken about kicking ass, so it should attract more attention than trying to impale a teddy bear with the weakest metal grapple in existence, in comparison it's 75% cheaper than Mr. I-Can't-Grab-Shit!

Twenty-five fucking cents.

But what really got me thinking "What the f---" was the famous "Winners Don't Do Drugs" message with the FBI logo and William S. Sessions' name. These guys could barely tell the difference between Pong and Contra, what the hell were they doing inside my quarter-munchers? This is a time where media and our parents are bitching about video games, such as Mortal Kombat and arcade shooters that had plastic guns.

But then, something happened, as much as we love to hate on the FBI, maybe they were on to something here, a quick search regarding the FBI and video games will show you:
  • In the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) report on school violence, Lessons Learned: An FBI Perspective School Violence Seminar, they include a school shooter profile listing thirty factors that may be indicators of potentially devastating violent acts, but the FBI excluded playing video games from that list. (Source)
  • "The state has not produced substantial evidence that … violent video games cause psychological or neurological harm to minors."(Source)

Video games have nothing to do with violence. The FBI is endorsing us. Which is why seeing this logo made me just want to prove everyone wrong so I took home my pizza and punched it. Twice.