Well, being a gamer and former Final Fantasy fan, (former, since it is mostly a show of metrosexuals in skimpy outfits), I was used to acronyms such as SMB = Super Mario Bros, KOTOR = Knights of The Old Republic, COF = Call of Duty, and of course FF, which meant Final Fantasy.
Realizing that asking would make look stupid, I left the chat and began searching about this new radical name for the franchise's latest installment that did away with roman numbers and went straight on to letters. Final Fantasy S would make kind of sense since by now I think they've got to be somewhere close to 19 games, maybe even more. A letter would take less space than all those Roman digits.
This "S", what could it really stand for? Why would a random chatter mention this? Why didn't I ask him? Why was it so difficult to find it? Could I have tapped into a big japanese secret? Why does my ass sweat on this chair when I'm naked yet being covered by clothing doesn't have the same effect? The questions haunted me even in my most private of moments. I couldn't urinate inside the toilet. People came to my house and asked themselves what could make me so furious that I had to leave the bathroom smelling like an old woman.
I looked all over the internet, I went to IRC channels, I tried contacting Square Enix via e-mail. I was desperate, I watched 3 consecutive episodes of Boohbah in order to regain my sanity.
What could this stupid extra letter possibly stand for? Some ideas that came to me were:
Sounds like a burger.
Tubgirl would be the last boss.
Showing that the high demand on Google's Search database of "Bring Aeris back" combined with "Nude patch" has made an impact.
After a while, it hit me. If there's something actually faster than the internet and waiting for e-mails to be replied, it would be the telephone. So I decided to call Square Enix, Inc. located in El Segundo, California. By making this call I would have to end this seemingly futile search. My mind was to be targeted at one thing and one thing only.
That fucking S.
Square Enix Representative: Thank you for calling the Square Enix support line. Good afternoon, my name is Steven, how may I be of assistance to you?
Dreth: I need to speak with Hiroshi Arai, the polygonal pervert!
Steven: I'm sorry sir, but that person does not work here.
Dreth: Okay then, get me Nobou Uematsu, leader of the flutes.
Steven: Sir, he only contributes music. He is not a direct employee of Square Enix, is there anything else I can help you with?
Dreth: Well I've been looking for a game and I've not found any information on it.
Steven: What is the game's title?
Dreth: It's a new Final Fantasy with S at the end.
Steven: I'm sorry, no such game is out or scheduled to come out.
Dreth: If you can milk a single game sequel for millions of dollars with shitty sub-sequels/prequels then you can tell which god damned Final Fantasy games have a friggin' S in their titles!
Steven: That would be all of them, sir. Fantasy contains the letter S.
Dreth: Real smart. Did your mother put her primitive tits in that advanced mouth of yours, Great Mastermind?
Steven: Sir, if you don't have any other que--
Dreth: Stevie the cock-mongler!
Steven: I'm sorry bu--
Steven: I am disc--
Square Enix Representative: Thank you for calling Square Enix. I'm Orlando, how can I help you?
Dreth: What is FFS?
Orlando: I beg your pardon?
Dreth: What does FFS mean?
Orlando: Sir, is this related to Square Enix?
Dreth: Is my shit-stained shoe related to your ass? Just answer m--
Dreth: 'the fuck?
What came over me? No idea. I called it quits. A call from Puerto Rico to California is not exactly cheap. My weekends became once again boring, so I resumed my chatting habit until someone mentioned FFS again. I would NOT let this haunt me again so I asked, only to be told me it meant "For Fuck's Sake".
Square Enix Representative: Thank you for calling Square Enix. Good day my name is Maggie, how--
Dreth: NO! I want to talk to the president, right now!
Maggie: It is lunch time, sir.
Dreth: I DON'T CARE IF HE'S EATING DORITOS, I WANT TO TALK TO HIM!
Maggie: One moment please.
Yoichi Wada: Yes, what can I help with? I'm busy eating Doritos.
Dreth: FFS is FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
Yoichi Wada: What is this? I don't even--
Dreth: You're working with mexicans!
Yoichi Wada: ...
I guess that last one hit the mark.