Jun 21, 2009

Blog News: Older Comments MIA


I had noticed older posts with comments still had the old system of commenting. Not only was it visually unappealing but personally I didn't like having "broken" pages so I decided to do away with them all and now all posts, old and new, are IntenseDebate operated.

So if there were any comments made by you in these older posts and if you care that much you can re-post them.

Here's a picture to make this post more interesting:



Actual photograph taken by a friend of mine over the area of San Juan, Puerto Rico. If this doesn't define us as mongrels, I don't know what does.

**UPDATE**

Stupid-ass IntenseDebate now can't even give me the correct code in order to reinstall it.

**UPDATE #2**

Thank you for nothing, IntenseDebate. When you get your shit sorted out, I'll check you out. In the meantime, blogger comment form. In all its crappy fashion. Apologies to anyone that posted during the IntenseDebate era.

A Rich Cunt's Beverage


When I go out to drink it's because one or more of the following:

  • I wanna relieve some stress (be it sad, angry, worried)
  • I wanna be as idiotic (I cross-reference that with 'funny') as possible
  • I want to get plastered because I miss feeling like an aborted bag of vomit


I don't, however, like mixed drinks that much. Acapulcos, Martinis, Daiquiris, Long Islands... they're waste of time. You don't get served enough alcohol to make you wind down, the taste is like expensive juice, and the prices are downright absurd. I've heard of people practically pay $50 for three of these "soft" drinks. If the point is showing off, by all means, do so, but don't tell me you have a good time paying for liquids with pretty colors . So people obviously like these, and I don't mind them once in a while, not everyone has to drink horse piss nor straight hard liquor.

Then I see this abomination:



You are practically paying $18,000 for a diamond with drool. This is not saying a lot, we don't require a genius to see how ridiculous it is, but if we are to look at rich people and their extravagant crap, like $20 toilet paper or a chair worth $27.8 million, we can pass this off as normal.

And yet, I can't really hate rich people. Their existence is there to make the rest of the world look either miserable or incredibly smart by comparison.

Jun 17, 2009

Videos so BAD, they're.... still bad


I remember back in the day, no YouTube, no DailyMotion, no easy way to host files and you had to install different media players just to see 'em online because whilst many sites were nice to Windows Media Player, bandwidth cheap-asses went for RealMedia formats.

Back then, videos were such a "big" thing (filesize-wise), I would download and burn them to CDs. They would lay right there next to my "Custom Themes" files, y'know the ones full of bullshit colors, backgrounds and inconsistent sound schemes.

Well now we have many video sites that let us relive hidden gems that would normally get lost in history. Here are some I wish would've stayed hidden.

Eddie Murphy with Michael Jackson -Whatzupwitu

I wish I had never found out about this, there's a little bit of everything, bad fashion, unintentional (or is it?) sexual innuendo, CGI clouds, butterflies and confetti. If you're willing to ignore the visual torture, you'll be haunted by Eddie Murphy's strained-balls-struggle version of "singing".





David Hasselhoff - Hooked on a Feeling

There's a weird mix of hilarity and idiocy in this one. And even if it's The Hoff, it won't stop it from being downright rotten. I only made it as far as the country setting with the floating angels and mirrored dogs barking at green-screened David the first time around. Wanna beat my record?




Jordy - Dur dur d'être bébé! (It's hard to be a baby!)

I simply cannot express in words how much I hate this used Q-Tip of a kid. Back then, I thought it was a baby babbling on and on incoherently while saying "bay-beh", then after 15 years I stumble upon the song on YouTube just to find out he's french, annoying and the video that landed him (or his parents) a good amount of money can be easily reproduced by recording any stupid couple with kids meeting at the park to talk about salt and pepper shakers and how anal sex just isn't cutting it.




Sometimes you just watch a video and ask yourself how is it related to the song it plays, Dream Theater's "Hollow Years" comes to mind in my case.

So DustFilms take it to the next logical level. Let's make the SONG talk about the VIDEO instead of the other way around. And you know what? It's delicious.

Take on Me: Literal Video Version

Jun 13, 2009

World's Cutest Rodents


While doing my typical pointless searching of a certain topic, then wandering off to 12 other things in less than an hour, I managed to find the world's cutest, and initially creepy, rodent. So To hell with squirrels, here is where it's at!

Pygmy Jerboa (Salpingotus michaelis)



Greater Egyptian Jerboa (Jaculus orientalis)

Jun 12, 2009

People say *I'm* lazy?


Just when I thought "lol" and comebacks such as "u r" were the epitome of online laziness, along comes Google Reader. Showcasing how much of moaning complaining piles of crap internet users have turned into, people now find it a hassle to CLICK different links for seeing different content.

Hell no, now they need everything in one place. Soon they'll shitting their chairs because they don't want to walk to the bathroom.

I suspect most of these comfy indolent sloths do it anyway.

Jun 6, 2009

Tenemos un angel de más


Ser llamado "satánico" cuando uno no cree en Dios es algo gracioso pero frustrante a la misma vez.

Comprendes que estas personas obviamente no entienden en el concepto de compartir ningún tipo de religión, por ende si no crees en el creador de todo (Dios) no puedes en sus creaciones (Lucifer), pero allá ellos. Están bastante grandes como para educarlos, si no han desarrollado el sentido común, creo que están un poco tarde.

Anoche, durante una conversación telefónica, bromeo con el concepto de "¿para que carajos existe el diablo si Dios hace lo bueno y lo malo?" y a la misma vez lo analizo. ¡Me hice una pregunta sin pensar que resultó ser más inteligente que muchas de las cosas que me esfuerzo al pensar! Las cosas "malas" que te pasan, son prácticamente siempre "pruebas" que te envía Dios para probar tu fé. Que injusto que uno no puede dudar de su existencia y bondad pero el puede dudar en todo momento de ti, ya que obviamente las pruebas nunca cesan.




Esto es una búsqueda de respuestas ya que considero toda la mierda Bíblica como eso mismo, mierda, pero aún así es una buena pregunta.

Todos los siguientes son considerados actos de Satanás para llevarte a su lado, ya que todo para ellos [dioses] es sólo un juego de tenis de mesa.

  • Alcohol y Drogas - un amigo te las puede ofrecer y también sería una prueba
  • Accidentes inesperados - a ver si pierdes tu fé en Dios
  • Crisis económica - a ver si pierdes tu fé en Dios
  • Una mujer x10 más hermosa que la tuya (o un hombre)- a ver si eres fiel

Irónicamente estas mismas cosas las puede enviar Dios hacia ti para "probar", entonces ¿que papel tiene el diablo si Dios se encarga de enviarte lo malo?